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Amber, “Rumors of Dropping Out? f(x) is Family”

It was 2010. Amber disappeared from f(x)’s stages. Soon, rumors claiming that she would drop out of f(x) began to circulate. The rumors grew fat as it fed on people’s whispers, then rumors of discord among the f(x) members were added in. Their fans, who repetitively waited while fearful of the rumors, referred to that period as the “time of endurance.”

I met Amber three years later in 2013. She was tall and her face was small, and she appeared wearing a knit mixed with bold blue and orange stripes. She said “I don’t have a business card,” with a face full of playfulness when I handed her mine, then slipped her hand forward saying, “I am Amber.” Amber’s laugh was so bright and big that I couldn’t see her eyes.

Two years ago in 2011. In the end, there was no dropping out for Amber. Amber, who had been away from the team due to an ankle injury, returned from the US and the complete five-membered f(x) took first place on a music program ranking for the first time since their debut. Because it was a result which was forged as they overcame rumors of members dropping out and discord among the group, f(x) cried after receiving their trophy.

Amber likes to play pranks on the f(x) members. So when f(x) is gathered together, the area is talkative and overflows with the sound of laughter. “If someone starts to play a prank on one person, then we all start to play pranks on each other like a domino effect. We don’t know how to stay still. I play pranks frequently on Krystal and Sulli, and Victoria unnie pranks Luna the most. But it’s no joke once Luna gets into the ‘feel.’ Later on there are times when we speak frankly amongst ourselves in a mix of Korean, Chinese, and English.”

The members call f(x)’s oldest unnie Victoria “Vic umma.” “Vic umma” has settled the colors of the members, which are each different from one another’s, into one f(x), and Amber has cherished the dongsaengs. Amber boasted, “They’re all pretty and cute,” and came up with the nicknames “puppy” for Luna, “princess” for Krystal, and “little brother” for Sulli. The eyes of unnie Amber sparkled as she spread her boastings about her dongsaengs.

There is no way that five young and immature girls who gathered and spent five years together didn’t fight at all. What is important is the process of reconciliation, and Amber brought up “misunderstanding” and “understanding.” “At first there were misunderstandings between us because of differences in culture and language. However, as we’ve spent over five years together, now we members understand each other’s feelings well. If I’m sad over something, the members will come to me first to comfort me and say, ‘It’s okay.’ We have telepathy. A telepathy, so that we know even if we don’t say.”

When I asked her about 2010, which was when the rumors of her having dropped out were circulating, she said, “I laughed. I went, ‘But that’s not it, it’s because of an injury.’ But the rumors kept growing. But I left it alone. Because I can just show people when I return later.” I also asked her when her happiest moment was as she promoted as f(x).

“When the members all rehearse together before a comeback, that’s when I’m happiest. Before, when we were trainees preparing for debut, our members didn’t rest and continued to practice singing and choreography. But now when we rehearse choreography together before a comeback, even when it’s hard we become happy when we think back on the memories of those times.”

Amber’s voice was excited all throughout the interview. It appears that her Korean, which had been clumsy, is now passable enough for her to express most of her thoughts nimbly. Nevertheless she mumbled a bit, as though a few words were still difficult, but there was one thing she said with clear pronunciation and without a moment’s hesitation to select a word or organize her thoughts. When I said that the members all seemed to be close, this was Amber’s response. “f(x) is family.”

Trans by 0wonhee @iheartfx.com